• Your Ideal Self and Life

    The first part of the self-concept is your “self-ideal.” Your self-ideal largely determines the direction in which you are going with your life. It guides the growth and evolution of your character and personality.

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  • Get out of your own way

    It is amazing how often we can get in our own way without even being aware that is what we are doing.

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  • Friends come and go

    I was considering why it is that friends come into our lives and some of them go out of our lives again. There are many and varied reasons I suspect, but for me I think that some people fall away because of the changes I have made to myself.

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  • Rebuilding Self-esteem

    When your self-esteem isn’t it tact, it has been diminished by constant reminders that you are worthless, useless and nobody wants you, you feel frightened and vulnerable. You are open to the challenges life brings but, as they breeze in, they knock you over and you feel incapable.

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  • Reducing overwhelm

    Have you ever looked at your ‘To Do’ list and thought that your head would explode? The list is so long it covers 2 sheets of paper and you are in a state where you are not functioning because your brain has decided that it can’t cope and is turning you into a gibbering wreck.

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  • Relationship anxiety

    Relationship anxiety is very destructive, as you know. If you don’t learn how to get rid of anxiety in your relationship, it leads into a very devastating downward spiral:

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  • Perception

    As far as I know there is no secret recipe for happiness or contentment.

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  • The terror attack on 22nd March 2017 in London

    I looked on in horror at the television reports of the terror attack on Westminster Bridge in London. T

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  • Forgiveness - releasing the past

    Forgiveness is such an important subject that I feel compelled to spend some time explaining its significance. When we hold something unforgiven inside, we are nurturing anger, hatred and resentment or maybe even guilt.

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  • Cause and effect

    How do you live your life? Do you live it at cause – or do you live it at effect? And what does that mean for you?

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  • Disrespect

    I am shocked at the amount of disrespect there is for people of all ages by those who are deemed ‘professionals’.

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  • How to survive Valentine’s Day as a single person

    Take advantage of you and really look after yourself on this day. Turn the focus of your attention to you.

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  • We are conditioned both deliberately and accidentally throughout life

    As we go through life we learn a vast amount of things, and we start from the very moment we are born (some say before we are born, and they may well be right).

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  • Conquer the fear of failure

    Fear of failure is probably the single, greatest obstacle to success in our adult lives. We become totally preoccupied with seeking approval and not making a mistake.

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  • Friends and family who sap your positive energy

    The people with whom you have the most contact and who hang around you will have either a positive or negative effect on your levels of self-esteem and confidence.

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  • How to have a stress free Christmas

    We all know that Christmas can be stressful. There is the usual invasion by the family, and extended family, the standing on ceremony all day, the extra expense as well as time and frustration trying to get the Christmas dinner on the table on time.

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  • Do you always need to defend yourself?

    Living with people who are verbally abusive or verbally aggressive can be very demanding on your time and energy. But does it have to be that way?

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  • Why, what, how and what?

    Why would you want to work with me? I have over a decade of experience as a coach and mentor and have worked with an amazing array of people from all walks of life.

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  • Stress - what is it?

    Have you set yourself goals that you think you want to achieve? If so, are they actually achievable? And more importantly are they really necessary?

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  • Learning to slow down - Stop and smell the roses

    Sometimes we are so busy that we rush through our days and lives, and we fail to notice the simple beauty of living.

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  • Celebrating success

    Have you ever noticed how terrible we can be at acknowledging what we have achieved? When congratulated on a success, we might hear ourselves say "oh it was nothing". On reaching a goal, we might skip the celebration because there is something else to strive for now. When reviewing a half completed 'to do' list, we'll bemoan what we didn't do, rather than focus on how much we actually achieved.

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  • My self awareness

    When I was in my teens, and even up to my early 40s, I had very little self awareness. I plodded along doing what I was told to do, manipulated by so many people. I was so totally not self aware I didn’t even notice that I was living my life on other people’s terms.

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  • Putting 'You' first

    Do you remember travelling on a plane? If you do, you have probably heard the instructions of the cabin crew reminding you to put on your own oxygen mask before helping anyone else with theirs. This advice is often told as a story for self-care because it expresses accurately why it is so important.

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  • Shopping in charity shops – Is there a stigma?

    When you walk along most high streets you will find several charity shops. There are those that raise funds for animals, those that raise funds for research, those that raise funds to aid people, those that raise funds for a hospice or hospital. All are for good causes and are usually well supported.

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  • Can you enjoy Valentine’s Day as a single person?

    There is so much emphasis on love and marriage leading up to Valentine’s Day and on the day itself. There are adverts everywhere and shops are full of gifts, treats and cards all specifically for this occasion.

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  • Improve your body language, improve your self confidence!

    The way that you move your body, and how you walk has an enormous effect on the way that you feel and affects your confidence levels.

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  • Refocusing after setbacks

    How many times have you thought you were getting through a life trauma, or you are in the aftermath, and then you hit a setback and it seems that you went back to the way you were?

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  • Confidence Secret Agent 008!

    Are you ready to have some fun? Are you ready to go beyond enemy lines in the line of duty for queen and country? Ok, ok I know I’m getting carried away – how about completing another confidence building exercise instead?!

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  • Are you holding on to things you ‘should’ do?

    Are you carrying around with you a lot of emotional baggage that you could be doing without? If you were to lose that emotional weight you could be focusing on something more productive instead.

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  • How do you see yourself?

    It is interesting that with most people, everything they do on a day-to-day basis is affected by them comparing their activities with their view of their ideal qualities and then striving to behave consistently with them.

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